Problems

We all have them, its a part and parcel of life. It comes to us, we battle against it using every inch of strength we have in us. Feeling all exuberant upon solving one and only to know there are billions more waiting to pounce on us like a pack of hungry hyenas. I spend my life dealing with problems of different calibers. Not only that but putting myself in a victimized position on having to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a supporting hand for others and their problems. I looked back at all these years, having gone through three different level schools, I was always the listener never the one who pours it out. The people who may seem close to me may not even know the real me because I rarely vomit my feelings and opinions out there. As I lay as numb as an ice cold statue listening to words from the mouth of others adding on to my numbness. I realised I was too preoccupied pleasing others and being there for others instead of doing as mentioned to myself. I did this upon myself, made my life still, uninteresting, feeling-less. I must say reading this back is undeniably depressing. Its going to change, I love myself too much to stab myself in the back.. This self mutilation has got to stop.. I deserve to love and to be loved, to be happy and to make people happy, to jump and shout like there isn't a care in the world!